recalling nights barely remembered required  research    

treatment worksheets 

stories from journals

countless drafts                                                                                  

journal notes
journal notes

writings that eventually became the rough draft

one night stand
one night stand

written after returning from canada at 19 years old after having sex with a woman in a bathroom stall at a club (thought to be "cool") led to feelings of intense panic and awareness that behavior was spiraling

notes from an ex
notes from an ex

written by a woman who half-jokingly used "jesus" as a nickname and would arrange threesomes with other women... how a god-complex and narcissism mature

outline 1
outline 1

organizing years of events to ensure a cohesive tale of addiction

draft 1
draft 1

hundreds of handwritten pages and gallons of coffee

outline 2
outline 2

utilizing college writing and study skills to keep the story flowing

notes
notes

meticulous organization is what makes ijwd so special

psych ward notes
psych ward notes

conversation notes and quotes from a patient who suffered from a multitude of emotional problems being treated for schizophrenia

psych ward draft
psych ward draft

when the story began - bound with zip-ties because staples or paperclips were not allowed

details - reading - taking notes -returning to that place of dispair  

...this is what separate ijwd from every other addiction memoir

how the magic happened

conversations with fellow psych ward patients were recorded using loose pages and small dull pencils

as cathartic as the process was, continue reading to view documents from the psych ward where a broken spirit and empty soul started to heal while writing what became ijwd